27 Apr Staying positive in unprecedented times
- We keep hearing that it is “unprecedented times.” Thank you! We got the memo lol… Everywhere we turn, look, scroll, and listen we hear this. Our lives have changed… Got it. Our comfort has been stretched… Got it.
There is a lot unknown about the virus. Our rights are changing, our normalcy has changed and many are feeling uncertain, fearful and some, angry and even rebellious. And, It is SO HARD to know who to follow, what to listen to, and what to believe and more.
The truth of the matter is no one actually knows what will come from these times because it is new to EVERYONE.
There seems to be three categories of people: Those who act like nothing has changed, those who seem to have ALL the answers and blame and want to shout it to the world, and those that are observing….
I have been personally turned off to people I follow that fall into those first two categories. Either not acknowledging what’s going on in the world. This one erks me because this is a REAL human experience right now! A very real one- and if somebody that you’ve been working with or following is not acknowledging it on some level take a deeper look. To me that doesn’t feel very authentic.
The second category, the ones that blame and have all the answers (they don’t… no one does right now), those are a special type of person as well. I choose to avoid those right now.
The third category is broad. Many fit into that. The ones that I look up to that ARE the ones acknowledging what is going on in the world, they are sharing that they too are living this human experience. They do not pretend to have all of the answers but they are real, authentic and sharing helpful tips on how they are navigating the uncertainty of these times.
Oh there you are reptile brain!
I believe that so many of us early on with the changes were truly operating from our reptile brain. SHOCK, and Freeze. A LOT of us were operating from this place. We were shocked and then we FROZE. And then to make it worse, we started binge watching the news or going down the road of Facebook and spinning our heads in-doomsday. This felt right to some extent initially because fear wants to VALIDATE others in fear. And it feels good to not feel alone.
If that’s something you are still doing, I’m going to encourage you to disrupt that because right now this is a pivotal point in your life. Before all of this happened, how many times did you say to your friends, your family, people in your business, “I wish I had more time.” And right now, we’ve all been gifted, a huge gap of more time. You have more time right now. We have more time with our families. More time to think, more time to get creative, more time to take care of ourselves. There’s a lot of more time in this and that’s a choice. You have a choice to focus on the gift and more time than what we get to focus on. Or you can choose to stay stuck in. There’s change and I’m not comfortable and that’s always a choice. It’s always a decision.
Here is what you need to know:
Anxiety comes from operating in past or FUTURE, not present.
When we are anxious or worried it is because we are typically stuck in past comparison (what used to be) OR about the FUTURE (what may or may not happen). Focussing and living in past or future creates worry and anxiety. How do we stop that? We focus on the NOW. The PRESENT moment. Right here, right now. The simplest way to do this? Think about your BREATH. Bring it back to breathing and stay there. Do this every-time you find yourself in worry or anxiety. AND know this… Right now, right here in THIS moment, you actually ARE safe.
Innovation and Creativity are born in trying times
It is during tough times and setbacks that creativity and innovation happens. When we look at this, a year from now, there’s going to be new businesses, new concepts, new ideas, new miracles that came from this time, which is really incredible and you have an opportunity right now realizing this to be on the forefront of this. This is where pain (now) will become the purpose for them later.
I am 48 years old as I write this. I lived in Washington DC during 9/11 when the USA FROZE and we worried about everything.I lived in Reston, Virginia a year later during the sniper attacks. I was in the neighborhood when we were scared to leave our house as we were fearful we would be shot by a sniper! We were stuck in our homes scared for our lives.
In 2007-2009 when I lost my house, I was in huge debt. My life felt like it was over. I was beyond depressed and did not know at that time how I would get through it all.
And here is what I know for sure…. from all of those times were born magnificent things. Personally, after 9/11 and the sniper attacks I moved to CA and met my daughters dad. I have my daughter because of those times.
After the 2009 crash, my whole business was formed. Now from that horrible time in my life during 2009, my whole business today, how I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of people transform was because of that hard time.
Why do I share all of this? Because I want you to lean into the feelings, the pain, the lessons and the purpose of it all instead of staying stuck and frozen.
Here are a few tips that I’ve been helping my one on one coaching clients with
Make a decision.
Make a decision for what you want to come out of this space for YOU. Literally DECIDE. For example: ” I am decide that I’m coming out more creative” or “I am deciding I’m coming out healthier” or “I decide I’m coming out more connected with my family” or “I decide I am just going to be super present with my feelings each day.” It does not matter what you decide, it just matters that you DO decide something. Do not leave this to facebook scrolling chance.
Stop letting people decide for you. Stop letting Facebook newsfeed decide for you. Stop letting whatever decide for you.
Honor your feelings.
Honor your feelings. If you’re feeling anxious, if you’re feeling sad, if you’re feeling confused, whatever it is, feel it. The only way out of a feelings is to literally feel it and let it run through you. Do not numb it. An exercise that I have many of my clients doing when they’re spinning in their minds with worry (for example, my husband lost his job! Or, my business is tanking!) Whatever it is, when you’re spinning, I’m going to encourage you to take a walk, take a break, grab your journal and ask yourself “what is the worst case scenario?” Let your mind ponder it. Give it space and time to go down the road of the worst case scenario. Because what you’re going to discover is your worst case scenario is not that freaking bad. It’s not that bad.
In 2009 my worst case nightmare was what if I lose my house? And I sat down, I wrote out what would happen. I learned the foreclosure laws, I learned everything, and knowing the worst case lifted my spirits because it wasn’t that bad. So I’m gonna encourage you to really think through what is my worst case scenario. Stop immediately obsessing over the Facebook news. It’s worse than the actual news.
CONTROL what you can control and let everything else go.
Make two list. What you CAN control and what you can’t control. For all that you CAN control? Do more of THAT. For example, you CAN control what you eat. You CAN control what you watch, listen to and who you talk to. You CAN control what time you wake up and what time you can go to sleep. Do more of what you CAN control and let go of everything you can’t. Download podcast, get some great books, take on controlling what you are taking “in”
CONTROL your social media time
Social media is a double edged sword. It helps us stay connected AND it can hurt us. Two things I did on my personal Facebook, not my business one (which took me an hour)
- I deleted and unfriended everyone I didn’t personally know, end of story. 1,800 people, I removed, took me an hour just going out, back order was done, and cleaned up my whole feed.
- I also set a timer on my phone. Yup I did that. This is scary to many of you. I noticed the first week I had spent one day, six hours on Facebook. That is not acceptable. You can see that on your phone. You can check your screen time. I put a lock on my phone. I get an hour period a day to scroll. This will help you stop the Facebook newsfeed drama. We can’t do anything. Reading doomsday doesn’t help anything.
Take on your day
Meaning schedule it. Get up, get dressed, put makeup on. Create a schedule, get stuff done. Progress, move forward. Do what every day. No way should you be at home? No. I mean maybe like some of you guys could do what? I guess Mel supposed if you don’t want to make it but seriously, lady gets herself together every day. Get up, get dressed, pretend like this is normal because we’re putting you back in normalcy. So to do all of that. You may even want to spruce up your look with Moxie magnetic Lashes (up they are a thing lol. Use coupon Natalie10 to save
Get outside every single day. don’t care if it’s hot there or whatever nature, vitamin D sunlight does miracles for you. Get yourself outside, kinda walk or just go outside. Get yourself outside, ground yourself with earth, like put yourself back there. There’s nothing better than actual natural vitamin D. You can get it in 15 minutes just from being outside 15 minutes. That’s all you change your whole mood.
You have the time now. You can do it at home with your own bodyweight. AND it will shift your mood. You may not feel like it but I promise just even a few minutes every day of moving your body will change your whole mood. I would love to help you. I even bundled together all of my best selling home workouts into a super discounted price here
Connect with others.
Do this every single day. Connect with friends over FaceTime. Or download the app called house party where you can get a couple of your friends on at the same time! Do virtual dates, do zoom dates with a bunch of your friends. Grab a glass of wine if you want to or walk and talk but CONNECT! The connection feels good 🙂
Shift your focus.
If you’re going down the doomsday of Oh crap, money, finances, whatever it is, shift your focus, like physically shift your focus. If you catch yourself stuck, or spinning, this is the time to go for a bike ride. Go do laundry, whatever. Shift your focus away. Don’t allow yourself to go down that spinning road. This is really, really important.
Do not get stuck on scarcity around finances and money.
This is common right now- but you are not common. Listen, ALL MONEY IS MONOPOLY money until you are actually USING it. It doesn’t matter what the news is telling you right now. It does not matter what the stock market doing right now. None of it matters unless you are pulling your retirement out right now. It doesn’t matter. I’ve watched my funds completely tank and then come right back up. It’s play money. So you’ve got to start looking at it right now as if it’s not real to you unless you’re actually pulling out and using it. Do not even look at the accounts or statements. Instead I encourage you to operate from your VISION instead of from circumstance.
Ask yourself what your VISION is and then operate from that place. What would the person living in that vision do with their time and thoughts right now? How would THEY spend their day?
This is the best time to be hiring a coach. There was not a better time. This is when you hire a coach. This is you need somebody to help push you. You need somebody to help pull out the creativity in you. You need somebody to lead you. This is the time to do it. And I’ll tell you, any coach worth their while will make a win win for you right now. They will help you with the financing. They will put off payments, they’ll whatever it is, but this is the time. If there has never been a time like before to hire a coach, do not let your bank account or scarcity mindset stop you from that. That is what credits for some times. So hire that day and coach right now. There’s no better time. You’ve got the space. You’d have the need. Have somebody help you pull this out of you.
What we can all control
The one thing we can all truly control right now is our attitude and outlook on things. I CHOOSE to focus on what is GREAT right now. There is a lot that is great.